dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
