I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
