Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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