Duck Duck Cougar?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
