you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
