You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
