Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
