I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
