i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
she pinky promised me she was 18
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
