i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
