i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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