Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
