I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
