and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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