All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
