At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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