You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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