Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
