whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
