Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Randomize
