Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
