I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
