I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
