just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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