You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
