So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
