so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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