After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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