you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
