bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
