I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
