No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
