dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
How does one acquire holy water?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
