with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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