Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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