am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
