I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
