I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
