after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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