Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
