Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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