thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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