Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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