Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
