Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She tied me up with her honor cords...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
