id be glad to
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
