JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Mom said you looked used
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
