:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
