White coat. Heels.
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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