so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
