Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
